Saturday, June 27, 2009

"Put a gun against [her] head, pull the trigger, now she's dead."

The title is just a quote of how I feel right now, not anything I plan to do. Just so you all know.

My great-grandma died last night. I'm not sure how I feel. I think I cried most of it on Thursday, and the rest on Friday so I haven't really cried about it today. I have cried, but that's because I'm sick of fighting, I had a headache, and I'm tired of having to choose between my wishes and disappointing everyone close to me. Why can't I just do what I want? The world will not end.

I would love to just scream at people sometimes. There is a person who is close to me, but sometimes I don't want anything to do with her. She always gets upset and tells me how I should do this and live that way. I'm not saying she's wrong, I'm just sick of getting told what to do. I'd rather she just shot me in the head. Really.

I do not want to go to my grandparents' tonight. Seeing relatives cry over Grandma does not interest me one bit.

That is all for today. Sorry for no French, I have no desire.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry about your grandma, that really is too bad : ( I will definitely be praying for you. Just remember the comfort that God can bring you, too.

    Psalm 55:22
    Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

    Psalm 71:20-21 (David speaking to the Lord)
    Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

    I'm sorry my advice to you earlier was so aggravating to you. I was in no way trying to be bossy, but only trying to help. I'm sorry that I made you so upset in offering you my opinion.


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