Friday, July 3, 2009

The childhood I once knew is gone.

I had always hoped that college was just a passing dream, that we'd never really get there. Now that it's here, how do I feel?

Hurt. A little betrayed.

Why hurt? I had hoped that the bonds we shared would last forever; they were a bond that could never be broken, no matter what happened. Now I'm not so sure. As I try to accept the impending loss of my closest friends, another piece of news shatters my heart. One of my friends will not be around much the rest of the summer. As I read this on my phone screen, my vision blurs as the tears flow freely. How could this happen? Why now, of all times? I don't understand. I feel as though a part of my past is being taken away as well. There will never be another to replace them; they are and will always be unique. As the pain fades slightly, it still seethes beneath my happy mask. It will always be there, a constant shadow of what will never be again.

Betrayed? A little. The wonderful plans that I had hoped would strengthen the already fraying bonds between friends have been cast aside, replaced with plans that only seem to pull friends farther apart. Is it me? Is this why you chose that? I guess I don't blame you. You always wanted to make it easier for me, a clean break.

Well, as the song says:

Just walk away,
Don't look back.
'Cause if my heart breaks
It's gonna hurt so bad.
You know I'm strong,
But I can't take that,
Before it's too late:
Just walk away.

The childhood I once knew is gone.

NOTE: This blog is not meant to be mean in any way. It is just me explaining how I feel.


  1. aww darling. I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this. I really do care about you, and i wish that i could tell you that everything will be okay, or that i know what your going through, but i can't. Ariel, you are such an amazing girl, and the fact that you truly and deeply care about your friends is a feat in it's own. Most people are happy to get away from those they have been stuck with for all these years, but little do they realize that people are special, and that they matter. Ariel, I'm sorry. I have only lost a friend once, but now, I'm kinda losing all of you, even though you say you will all be around. I know i have only known you guys a year, but the influence the class of 2009 made on me is one of such importance that I don't think i would be the person I am without it. wow, this is more of a letter than a comment. facebook me later, if you want to talk. Love you, ~Lauren

  2. First of all, IT IS NOT YOU. It has nothing to do with you in the slightest.

    Secondly, you are not going to lose me as a friend.

    Third, just because I will be working does not mean that we will not be able to spend time together. We do not have to let this situation pull us apart. We can still be just as close as we are now or even closer. The only change we have to make is the hour of the day that we plan things.

    I know that this is not easy for you, but remember, "God's plans work for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28). If you stick to God and let Him take care of things, you may be pleasantly surprised as to what is to come out of this. It may even be something beyond your wildest dreams that you never thought possible.

    Love you! Always and forever,


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