Monday, December 14, 2009


I'm just wondering what is happening with everyone lately... Everything is changing and I'm not sure if it's all for the good...

A friend has changed so much... I have too.... But I feel it's for the better, and now she is like the opposite of me, like we switched personalities.... And it's hard to accept... I'm not sure what to do because I love her and she's a great friend but I'm not sure I can deal with the personality change...

Relationships are falling apart, both bf/gf ones and friendships... Another friend is losing her bf of almost 8 months and is telling me about it... It's hard because I can't and won't choose sides... But I hurt for both of them... And my dad is getting married New Year's Eve and is having major issues with Roberta... Why are relationships so hard? The one most important one in my life I feel is falling apart... And it hurts... But I wonder if it's just me...

I realized this weekend how much my mom means to me.... She was gone from Friday until Sunday evening, but I didn't see her Friday so I missed her so much... And not only did she come back, but she brought back squeaky cheese, egg nog and Dr. Pepper... I love her so much and I'm so glad I chose to live with her.

Life just feels so dead... I feel like I'm just going through life and nothing is happening except that I'm maturing and becoming mellow and everyone else is changing to the way I was... Is that a good thing or not? I don't know what to do anymore.


  1. Well, I guess life changes. It doesn't make it any easier to accept, but it does. I'm feeling like some things are changing too. Who is this friend to whom you are referring? Leanne? Someone else? With me, I feel like things are pretty good in life accept for the fact that Tyler is drifting away. I mean, he's my friend and it looks like he is having fun with his new friends, but I feel like we are being replaced.It doesn't make me mad, as much as it makes me sad. I understand that part of college is making new friends, and that's cool, but I think it's important to keep the old, and not treat them like people that don't matter in your life any more. Anyway, i thought I would just vent there for a moment. It makes me sad. As life goes on, I guees you realize who your true friends are. We all change and develop into different people, but some of us will always be friends, no matter what. :) Just lean on God, our one true friend, for He never changes and is always, without fail, there for us. I love you Ariel and thanks for being such a great friend. :)

  2. I second what Rachel said :) However, I would just like to point out that personalities do not change. Whatever is changing in the lives of you and of other people is not a result of a personality change. I am glad you are mellowing out a bit, as I know your unmellowness has caused some trouble in the past. That's a good change for you I think. I hope you will come to find all of these new changes as something positive, as whatever God has in store is sure to be good in the long run :)

    As for relationships... well, they are always hard. But then again, once a person gets through all of the hardships, there is always something good to come of it :) Whether you become closer to that person or whether you learn that person is not someone you would like to develop a closer relationship with, you can always learn something from what you have experienced. Unfortunately, we generally fail to see this benefit at the time. We may not even come to realize the goodness that resulted until several years later.

    I hope that you will find what both Rachel and I said as helpful to you. We both care about you very much, and we're here for you whenever you need us :) We'll be praying.

    Love, Leanne

  3. I don't think I can say much that hasn't already been said, but I feel for you. College is a time of major change, when people expand their horizons and go new places and meet new people. I really wish that you weren't still at home, because then you would be going through the same change that Leanne and I are going through, and would understand more. I can imagine it's really difficult for you to see everyone leaving, and you are still in nearly the same situation as before. I'm really excited for next year, when you'll get to leave home and be independent! I think you'll like it a lot.
    And please, always remember that even if you don't get to talk to us as much, or it seems like we are avoiding you, it is because we have a lot of things to balance in our lives. We are always here, though, if you need us! Love you!


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