I feel compelled to blog right now, but I'm not sure where to start.
I've been having insomnia issues the past week or so, where I'll take an hour or longer to fall asleep and then wake up in the middle of the night for an hour, or wake up at 6 or 7. It's been hard on me because I'm a person who loves my sleep. I'm used to sleeping from 10:30-9! It's been causing me to slack on school, which is bad because my grades are already risky. I don't even want to KNOW what my grade is in history...
Also for awhile I've been getting in these moods where I feel listless and have no energy, and just don't care. I float around like I'm just here to be alive, and nothing more. It's strange, because it also is causing my normally bubbly personality to switch to a more mellow, calm one. The girl who normally needs all the attention is becoming the quiet, thoughtful one who likes alone time. This is strange to adjust to, because it reminds me of the times when I'd be depressed and cut or whatever, so I feel like this change is a bad thing. At the same time, I know I need that calmer side, I just don't feel like I'm finding a happy medium.
I realized today even if my friends sometimes aren't there for me, or seem to not care, they always have a way of noticing if something is off. Tonight had a message I was not expecting, or prepared for, and I started crying during the service. I got a hug for it, which only made it worse. (No worries.) Then later I got another one, an unusually long one, which made me cry again, but gave a little chance for talking. I think I just got overwhelmed with everything that's happened lately (Thursday relief, college's stress, etc.) that it all hit me at once. Another reason my lack of sleep is not good.
I guess I'll wrap up my rambling now. I'm getting a headache, and I'm hoping I can sleep it off. (Yeah right, but it's worth a try.) Pray for me, please?